Hey fattie

Today at lunch I sat with three male teachers, and as usual, one of my co-teachers, David, brought up the subject of my eating habits.

David: "Tahleen, what are you eating these days? What did you eat for breakfast?"
Me: I told you, I eat cereal for breakfast. (I was a little annoyed because he asks this everyday)
David: Just cereal?!?
Me: Sometimes yogurt also, sometimes toast, it depends.

David seems to think that because I eat cereal for breakfast and pizza for dinner sometimes that I'm malnourished. After I assured him I was eating a balanced diet, he moved onto exercise. I told him I've been going to dance classes once a week, and it was very good exercise. The geography teacher chimed in that working out once a week wasn't enough, I needed to do it three times a week.

I said that I do a lot of walking here and climbing subway stairs. I told them that I had spent Sunday afternoon and evening walking around Seoul; a friend who lives in Daejon was in town and we were seeing the sights. Last weekend I was in Seoraksan hiking up mountains. I told them I thought that was enough exercise. The geography teacher said, not if I want to lose weight.

They talk about weight loss/calories all the time here, but I was still taken aback. I said, "Do you think I need to lose weight?" David must have realized I was somewhat offended, because he immediately started talking about how thin I was, and asked what my "secret" was.

I don't mind if my coworkers talk about health and weight loss in general, but telling me I need to work out more to lose weight is not really necessary. Especially since it's on most women's minds anyway.

I've heard from other (foreign) teachers that their coworkers make similar comments, and I've also experienced this when I lived abroad before. When my friends and I visited Tunisia in 2003, our tour guide told my two friends they looked like they were pregnant, and didn't understand why we found that so offensive.

I think our eagerness to be polite and not hurt people's feelings is something unique to the U.S. In Korea, it's perfectly okay to tell someone that they are chubby, or that they have a pig face. (One of my students got the nickname "Piglet" from her friends)

My Korean coworkers are always quick to comment on appearance in general. It's nice to be acknowledged on days when you put a little extra effort into your appearance, but on the flip side, they also tell you when you look awful. "You look so tired. You look sick," etc. I understand that this is a cultural thing, and I can handle being told I look tired, but I wasn't a fan of being told I need to exercise more. Maybe I'm overreacting, and it was just his segway into inviting me to play badminton with the teachers after school (as several teachers have done) but it rubbed me the wrong way, and I will be avoiding him in the lunchroom in the future. It's a shame too; he's one of the few teachers that can carry on a conversation with me at lunch. But I'd rather enjoy my squid surprise and chunks of tofu soup than feel like I have to jog it off later.