The time has come yet again to make the age-old decision; stay abroad another year, or go home? I'm actually split three ways right now between moving home to Minnesota, moving to South America to teach (I've been fantasizing about living in a Spanish or Portuguese-speaking country for a while now) and staying at my current school.
The factors to consider are pretty much the same as they always have been: I love traveling, trying new things, pushing myself to live outside of my comfort zone...and not paying rent :) At the same time, I miss my family and friends. I miss feeling like I belong, and the sense of security I feel living near my family. And I HATE missing out on important events, such as one of my best friend's weddings this April, and my little brother's theatrical debut in his high school play this fall, just to name a few. Ever since I made the decision to leave Minnesota 3 years ago, this has been a constant internal dilemma. (Ok, maybe not so internal considering I blog about and talk to everyone I know about it...)
3 months ago it would have been a no-brainer. There was definitely an adjustment period where I thought I must have been insane for voluntarily choosing my current position. But my school has grown on me, my kids have grown on me, Pak Chong, the podunk town I live in, has grown on me.
I have moments where I think, 'wow, this is so cool, I'm definitely staying.' 5 minutes later a wave of homesickness will wash over me and I'll change my tune.
Yesterday was a prime example; During 7th period, I had only one student in class, so we joined up with Year 9 students going on their weekly visit to the elephant conservation center just 15 minutes down the road. The year 9 kiddos worked on their community service projects, my year 13 student took photos, while my year 12 student interviewed the director of the center for the newsletter we are putting together to market the school. Spending my Friday afternoon at work hanging out with elephants in the gorgeous December sunshine (the weather is magnificent right now) while my students are actually learning something... how cool is that?
Because I work where I do and our school is so small there are endless opportunities to extend learning beyond the classroom, something that I think is really important. I've always thought that part of my role as a high school teacher is to help students see that there is a great big world out there beyond the confines of the school walls.
Then I went home to my hut and watched a few sappy, family-oriented episodes of Gossip Girl (shameful, I know) and I started thinking that maybe I'm over this 'living on the other side of the world from the people I love' thing.
My friend/neighbor/coworker Nicole gave me some solid advice that I think I will follow. This year I am fortunate enough to be able to spend 2 weeks at home for Christmas. (First time in two years!) She said when I'm coming back to Thailand, if it's hard to leave, then I'll know. I'm hoping that going home and getting my friend/family fix will put things into perspective. Until then, I'm just as torn as ever.